I Have a Choice

Turkish culture has very different systems from other cultures. In my culture, girls should get married before eighteen years old. In my culture, I can’t choose my life partner; my parents will choose someone for me, whether it’s good or bad. On their engagement night, most girls just stand by bowing their heads. They can’t even talk with other people. I think that’s torment for the girls.
I am facing this experience right now. I am eighteen, and my parents want me to get married to a person who I don’t know and I have never talked to. I don’t want to get married at age eighteen. I still respect my culture, but I don’t think it will be good for me to marry at age eighteen. I don’t yet have my college degree or career.
When I came to the United States from Russia three years ago, I had hope that I would not get married at age eighteen. I believed that my parents would change their mind and let me study more, but still my mom wants me to marry a guy they chose. When she told me, I replied, “I don’t want to get married.” She ignored me because in my culture elderly people make the decisions; my grandfather is still alive. One night when I was sitting with my grandfather and my parents, my father again asked me the same question, “Do you want to marry?” “No” I replied, sadly. “What do you mean by you don’t want to marry?” my grandfather yelled strongly at me. I became scared, and then I went to my room.
Still I don’t want to get married, but if I ignore them, I will lose my parents.
Nilufar Akhmedova