Depression

I feel like I am in a coma.
I can’t experience any thing that
I hear or I see.
I can breathe and eat
But the rest
Of my body is
Like a dead person.
That can move
But can’t feel
That can see
But can’t talk
That can cry but no one will know
That can stay all night in the dark
But can’t die.
I can harm myself
But I am waiting for happiness
In the shadows
I am trying to act like
Every thing is ok but
Then later I feel it
Again
This is not tolerable
I want happiness that I never got
I am waiting for my friend
To come and take me out of the dark
To the light
That can make my life full
Of radiance
I have been waiting here all my life
Don’t come late because
I might be losing my mind
This anger will kill me
This depression will erase me
From the world

When I was 10 years old, my dad passed away. We were in Afghanistan when my dad passed away. That made me sad. My family always talks about our past life. My brother and my mom always talk about my dad.

After my dad died, we moved to Pakistan and from there we come to U.S.A. When we were in Pakistan, my brother never fought with my mom because he was always out for work and he come home at midnight so they never got time to even talk to each other. After that, when he spent more time at home in the U.S.A., they always talk and they were happy. Then, later he started the fight. We were in a different place in the world. My brother started fighting with my mom. My brother started the fights because he had no friends and he was home for a few months. They always argued and said bad things to each other. When I would see my brother, I wanted to leave the house because of him.

I can’t forget what he did to my mom. I can’t forget how my mom would cry to me. I couldn’t help her. Seeing her tears would make me go crazy. There was a weird feeling in my heart for my brother. My mom cried most of the time. Was that the thing that would make me depressed? I couldn’t help my mom. That’s how my depression started.

After that, I told my family friend what was going on. She came to our home and talked to my brothers. After her big help, my brother changed. Still I was depressed because of what my brother did to my mom. I had to learn how to live life with depression. I slept a lot and got home late from school. I tried not to be home; I went to the park by myself and stayed there for a long time. Then I went home and slept all the time. Whenever I went to the park there were Muslim girls that would try to talk to me, but I didn’t want to talk to anyone.

A year later, I started school and I had a class where we could write about anything and I wrote about depression. Writing about depression helped me to get out of depression. If you are depressed, write on paper. Paper is like your friend; you write on it and keep it safe and secret for you. I came out of depression by talking to my teacher and writing about it. Now I am not depressed. I still talk about it with my friends when they are depressed. I know how it feels. A better way to come out of depression is to talk to a teacher or friend that you believe in.